Week 13 - 15

Week 13 - 3 February 2008

FEEL LOVABLE - "If you don't feel lovable, it's going to be hard to accept or give love. By yourself, with your lover, or another friend, really explore how lovable you feel. What were the conditions for receiving love when you were a child? Can you remember if you felt worthy of love then? And now? Do you feel worthy of being unconditionally loved? If yes, great! If not, what do you feel you need to do to receive unconditional love from others? Can you love yourself unconditionally?"

Week 14 - 10 February 2008

SHADES OF GRAY - "If you or your partner are prone to black-and-white thinking - where issues and experiences are often framed as right or wrong, good or bad, try to expand the gray scale of your perceptions by seeing things long a continuum. Instead of being at opposite ends of a polarized stance, imagine that you may just hold different positions along a spectrum, and that those poisitions have the potential for becoming closer with addiitonal explanation and understanding on each of your parts. This kind of flexibility just isn't inspired by a black-and-white outlook. Also, rigidity of position often belies fears, which might be something else worth exploring in a gentle manner."

Week 15 - 17 February 2008PICK AND CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES - "Check in with yourself before you offer a criticism, a sacrastic remark, or a grievance to your lover. On the wrong day, anything can start a fight, so use a little self-knowledge to recognize your motive, and consider the impact of what you're about to say, and decide what's really worth picking on and what's not. Fighting isn't a good recreational activity compared to all the other things you could do together. And if you unconsciously use fighting as a way to individuate, in order to take some time apart, see if you can't achieve this through a more constructive, direct, and conscious request."