Week 21 - 23

Week 21 - 30 March 2008

RULES OF THE FIGHT - "If you find yourselves with boxing gloves on ready to spar, agree on some ground rules before the adrenaline kicks in. Here are some often-cited suggestions:

1. No name-calling.

2. No hitting below the emotional belt or aiming at your partner's sensitive spots.

3. Focus on one issue at a time.

4. Begin sentences with "I feel" instead of "You....."

5. Ask. Don't second guess what the other person is feeling.

6. Be honest. Don't try to protect your partner from the truth.

7. Speak from the heart.

8. Listen and don't interrupt.

9. Pause if voices and tempers flare.

10. Accept your partner's perception of reality as being as valid as your own.

11. Fight to reestablish contact, not to prove the other person wrong."

I wonder how many couple could really follows these rules whenever there is a fight. For me, i always fail to follow 1, 3, 4, 8, 9, 10 and 11...hahaaa...

Week 22 - 6 April 2008

RELATIONSHIP MENTORS - "Together, make a scrapbook of relationships you admire and are inspired by through collecting articles, photographs, or what-ever conveys relationship aspects that you like. Despite all the statistics that prove large percentages of relationships fail, there are still a number that succeed. It is worth celebrating and being inspired by these partnerships. Also, in hard times, it may be soothing to flip through your scrap book and be reminded of these successful pairings."

Week 23 - 13 April 2008

BE OUT OF SYNCH - "Recognize, stabilize, and don't overreact when you and your love buddy fall our of synch. Although you will find delightful moments of sybchronicity, you will also naturally fall out of them, only to fall back in, either with time, a little communication, or both. Since you won't necessarily (or even ideally) grow or move in parallel, there are bound to be some real moments od idiosyncratic out-of-synchness. The more accepting you become of these blips, the wider your range of comfort will become, and the more freedom you will each have to grow while stretching your relationship foundation."